Jul 03 2008
My day with Sparky
Well hello once again, I have a little bit of an anecdote just for you. So kick back, pop a beer, cause this one is just too good not to publish. First off let me inform you that this story takes place in the city of San Clemente, CA. SC is a nice place however, the entire population has a drinking problem. And of course no matter what bar you go to, you will always find the one guy in the bar who’s just too old and creepy to be able to ignore. This particular drunk was a man (and I use that term very loosely) who goes by the name “Sparky”. Now Sparky is in his late 50’s, his skin looks like the inside of my leather boots. Now that I’m thinking about it, he smelled like the inside of my boots too. Once again the gang was down at the pub, and right as I put quarters in the pool table. Here comes Sparky, walking like an odd mix between John Wayne and Johny Depp. And Sparky made the classic mistake of talking to a stranger in a bar. The first thing he said was;
Sparky: I’ve been all around the world (hiccup) and nobody, has ever ya know?
ME: Uh…sure, happens all the time
So with that Sparky seemed satisfied with our incredibly deep conversation and stumbled back to the bar…or so we thought…He somehow managed to catch us ouside, because he wanted to pass on some more worldly wisdom.
Sparky: Hey grease-(hiccup), are you dee Sheriffff
ME: Am I the wha?
Sparky: You see tha? (pointing to the palm tree)
Me: Yeah…
Sparky: That’s Tina Turner…(stumbles around a bit)…the rest…is Oprah
Yes you may be thinking “What?”, but trust me it gets better.
Sparky: Hey…next time you kiss a goat…and you don’t…think of ME.
(shuffles around in his jeans and pulls out what looks like an ID)
Sparky: Cuz I got the poetry card…the gates are wiiiiiiiiiiiiidddeeeee open.
It may be a bit odd to run into characters such as “Sparky” but not in San Clemente. You see, SC is the perfect formula for just about every freak to show up. Nice weather, somewhat overpopulated. And of course, if you live in south side you are never more than 2 miles away from a bar
